An afternoon thought..

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Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they are meant to be there. They serve some purpose, edify you an example or support you in finding out who you are or who you want to become. Who are these people? You will never know. Could be your room mate, your professor, long lost friend, lover or even a complete stranger who, when you lock eyes with them, you know that they will affect your life in some way. And sometimes, things happen to you at the time they seem horrible, painful and unfair, But in reflection, you will come to understand that without defeating those barriers, you would never have grasped your potential, strength and will power of heart.

Everything happens for a reason. True. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good or bad luck, infirmity, grievance, lost moments or true eminence and sheer stupidity that all transpire to examine the limits of the soul. Without these minor ordeals, if they may be events, afflictions or relationships, life would be like a smooth paved, straight, flat road to nowhere… Safe and easy but dull and utterly pointless. The people you meet who involve your life, accomplishment and downfalls you experience, they are the ones who create who you are. Even the horrific experience can be learned from… Those lessons are the hardest and probably the most important ones.

If someone betrays you, hurts you or breaks your heart, forgive them, for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious next time around. If someone loves you, love him or her back unconditionally, not because they love you, but because in your heart you do. And they teach you to open your eyes to things you would have never seen or felt without them.

Make everyday count. Appreciate every moment and take from it everything that you possibly can. Talk to people you never talked to before and listen. Let yourself break free and set your sights high.. you can make your life anything you wish. Create your own life and then go out and live it!

Always do your best in all your endeavors as well as your struggles in life. Have a fighting spirit and never hesitate to get back in the battle.

A ray of happiness and peace is what I aspire for those who I meet and will get to know in this life.

Oha! Serious Much! Minsan lang naman pagbigyan nyo nako!

Till next time =)

-Hannah

 

 

31 and Amazing..

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31 yrs. Looking back I cannot imagine how I’ve come this far. From the little girl who was so fond of playing “kitchen-kitchenan” and barbie dolls, a teenage party animal to becoming an aberrant workaholic fine lady, what else in life have I not done? In between my growing years I managed to fulfill my inquisitiveness on almost everything. I had my first bf at 14 (OMG! Just realized how kerengkeng I was!! Yayks!), first brokent heart at 18, started working at 19, learned to party, drink like there’s a shortage of liquid on earth (atleast naman nasa age na dabah!), moved out of my parent’s house at 23, learned to drive at 24, traveled Asia at 27,  Found my dream job at 28.. MAJOR MAJOR Heartache at 30.. Life Changed at 31 (Unkabogable talaga!) =)

I’ve seen some parts of the world, and have yet to see the other side. Been bad but most of the time I’m good.. maybe.. i dunno haha! (Hmm ibaba ang mga nagtataas ng kilay! chos!).  I’ve lied, but I found truth. I’ve been hurt, devastated and collapsed, but I got back on my knees. I lost God, yet I found him.

I recognized the blessings that came beyond my silent dreams.  I have a wonderful family, I am rich with good friends, I prospered in this part of the world, Met my second family, the CARREONs who opened a home for me, loved me as part of their family. Wherever I go, whatever I do, I never felt alone. I never felt off beamed and powerless.

I listed down things, happenings and people to thank (Taaraay! Tinalo ang may sponsor! Ako na, ako na ang showbiz-showbizan!)

  1. I thank my CSA teachers and friends, I’ve learned so many things in my 11 yrs of schooling!
  2. I thank my La Salle and Asia Pacific friends, I learned to grasp and make friends with Gays and Lesbians! Nakakaloka ang saya saya pala nila kasama!! And the bakla words really na adapt ko ng bonggang bongga! Obviousness?
  3. I thank “THE RICKY REYES SHOW” in Channel 9 every Sunday morning! I learned to do up my fez and hair at a tender age! Alembong much lang!
  4. I thank my EX BFs.. for making me realize there’s no room for martyrs in this day and age! All of you made me a better person! (Kung maka “all of you” naman ako feeling feelingan ang daming naging jowa! Chos!)
  5. I thank my brothers for being so accepting and unwearied of my katarayan.
  6. I thank my RCI family, JJP and MOP, I owe up to you my experience and the good fortune of learning the ropes in the corporate world.
  7. I thank my Lingua Tech Family, for making my dreams come true in this part of the world =)
  8. To Carreon Family, my heartfelt love to all of you. You are my home here =)
  9. My Nanay Fely, who took care of me since I was 3 yrs old, who never left my side, she’s a mom to me. Thank you Nanay for caring enough when I almost hated the world.
  10. I Thank my relatives, though miles apart, they poured out their love and prayers when I was groping in pain.
  11. To my mama and papa, nothing in this world can ever take your place. Wherever I go, Whoever I may be, I will always be grateful for your unconditional love, your never ending forgiveness and tireless support. I became HANNAH because of you. I love u both!
  12. To my bros and sis in the Church, you helped me through and through. Thank you for the listening ears, for the love, light and support.
  13. To God, I don’t deserve all of these, but you embraced me and have put my life back in order. I don’t know how I can ever repay you. Your love is unfathomable. How I feel bad thinking about the pain I have caused you.  Only two things that I always whisper in my prayer, One:  I will live my life according to your words. Two:  Come what may, I will never turn away from you. Serving you forever won’t suffice, I know, but I won’t mind, after all I am just returning the favor.  I love you God – with my sincerest self, I offer my life and praises to you.

Now, I’m done looking back. I am moving forward. Thank you life. My 31 yrs is amazing! KUDOS!

To all of my dear readers, thank you for appreciating my blog. I get inspired to write and unleash my thoughts and feelings knowing that I get to touch lives somehow.

Once again.. thank you! Let’s pause for a commercial break! TARAAAY! haha!

 

-Hannah-

A love letter part 3..

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Love,

For a heart that’s been hurt, there’s nothing much you can do but understand. There’s no easy way to let go of something that you know you can never take back. But I can face the world around me knowing I’m strong enough to let you walk away. I’m aware that you only came into my life for awhile and time will come I had to give you up. Then that’s the end of it. There goes my life.. you left me at the moment that I can’t fight for you. I cry for the memories, I cry for the pain, I cry for the times I had you. I know you’re not mine, but holding on to the good times have become my way to keep me alive. Wish you see the tears fall from my eyes coz it spells the truth of how I really feel inside. Don’t worry, My tears won’t blame you. Though my smiles cannot even cover up my pain. It’s been awhile still I can’t get myself out of your shadow. Till this very moment I am still trying to pick up those pieces. Thank you for the love and the pain. The pain that I will always remember. Even Now, My heart still aches in sadness and secret tears still flow. One day I can say.. Finally, I’m over you. You are still with me even though you are not by my side. One day I will be able to stand right next to you without wanting to hold your hand. Yes, we can exchange hellos and handshakes, but that’s all, nothing more. And somewhere down my journey, I will fall in love again. I know… I can.

I miss you 😦

– Hannah –

Stay put..

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I was talking to my friend earlier. She’s sad and hurt. I can see myself through her eyes. Sometimes I wonder why there are people who take for granted the love, time and effort that we give them. Sa umpisa lang masaya lahat. Pag nagsawa na and they found someone else BOOM! They’re gone. And no matter how eager and persistent you seek for answers, ang dami pang sinasabi, can’t they just be straight forward? Yung wala nang paligoy ligoy. Then in the end the truth will come out.

Putting myself in her jowa’s shoe, there’s no easy way to break someone’s heart. Especially when you know in yourself that person gave his best to you. When you know that you have been way above anyone else in his life. When you know that half the world he moves in is bent on you. Question is.. What is more painful leaving someone, or being left behind?

I cannot sleep because I feel for her. I’ve been through the pits and worst in most of the relationships I had. And I don’t want her to be in the same situation. Ang hirap matulog neng! But i realized waking up is the hardest part, kasi ayan mageemote ka na naman, hurt hurtan ka nanaman! crylulu nanaman ang beauty mo hayy kawindang kaya! If I can only save her, and have the power to stop and change her feelings I’d do it right away. Right about now. But I have nothing. I don’t even have enough strength to spare myself from the heartache that rocked my world. The best I can do is pray for her.

Stay put my friend. Hang on. It’s difficult in the beginning. Like what I said kanina ” Ikaw ang masasaktan, Ikaw ang mahihirapan sa umpisa, pero dahil naging mabuti ka sa kanya, in the end siya ang magdadala nyan. Makaka move on ka kasi wala kang pagkukulang. Siya ang magsisisi kasi mabubuhay sha na dala dala nya lahat ng nagawa mo sa kanya..” Pak na pak!! achieve na achieve ang litanya!

Hay… ang love life nga naman! nakakalurkey! Anyway, tomorrow is another day. And you’ll find urself getting better and better. Healing is a process. No one dies of a broken heart. You may breakdown and suffer, but if you will be firm enough to endure the pain, In the end, you will benefit from that horrible experience.. Stronger and Wiser! UN-KABOG-ABLE! Keribels mo yan! Kering keri natin to! Pak!

Hope all of you learned something tonight. Till next entry. Time to hit the sack!

Gnyt!

-Hannah-

IF I WERE YOU..

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As I curl myself up to bed, so many things have been running around my mind. I know I had to stop it. Otherwise, it will leave me waking up tomorrow with a heavy heart again. I remember one song of Tamia that I really like. I used to play it every time I get in the car and I would listen to it the whole day. Kung nagsasalita lang ang cd player ko, I swear nagmamakaawa na ng bonggang bongga na patahimikin ko na si Tamia! My whole day will never be complete without this song and I want to share the beautiful lyrics to all of you. I somehow can relate to the message.. hindi lang somehow, talagang can relate chos!! drama anthology lang ang peg! These past few days, I kept singing this song. If you want to know how the song goes check youtube nalang. Hindi ko achieve ang boses ni Tamia pasensha na… here’s the lyrics 🙂

IF I WERE YOU by Tamia-

I look in the mirror, with you in my arms
And I see a reflection
Of a smile that says you believe in love
And just for a moment, I drifted away
But I couldn’t stay cuz
A hint of love, a bit of fear
I’m tryin’ to say

If I were you, I wouldn’t be here
If I were you I would stay right where you are
I wouldn’t come near this broken heart
Just turn around and leave here.
And find someone who won’t hurt you
Make sure that she still believes in love
Cuz I think my heart has given up
If I were you, I wouldn’t be here

I’m tryin’ to protect you
From the lies that your heart tells
Even though it says that you love me
All I see is pain and misery..
Seasons may change
But I can’t forget the days of old
My heart ached when you walked away
I said I’d never love again.

If I were you, I wouldn’t be here..
If I were you I would stay right where you are
I wouldn’t come near this broken heart
Just turn around and leave here.
And find someone who won’t hurt you
Make sure that she still believes in love
Cuz I think my heart has given up
If I were you, I wouldn’t be here.

The days go by And I feel that you could make me happy
Time goes on And I feel that love is at my door.
And though I tell myself that you’re the one Who said those words before
Though it hurts too much, I can’t trust in love Again.. Again

Hay senti-sentihan lang ang lola nyo tonight… anyway, im signing off hope all of you had a splendid weekend.. Half of 2011 is over, July is approaching, before we know it December na. Hirap ng walang jowa noh nabibilang mo mga araw haaay… Goodnight readers!!

Till next entry..

-Hannah-

A love Letter.. Part 2.

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Love,

Two days ago I was riding a bus on my way home and I saw a guy standing next to me and he looks exactly like you. The built, how you stand, your bald hair, your eyes, nose and lips.. I caught myself teary-eyed just staring at him.

Tonight I am thinking of you again. Where are you now? How have you been all this while? Are you happy? Are you in good shape? Are you somewhere thinking about me too? These questions are pitching my head lately. Sometimes I ask myself why do we have to fall apart? Why did we end this way? Why did we have to fall in love? But until now I get no answer. I touch my heart and say.. enough.

I may have moved on from our painful past. I can say that I am okay, but there are days and nights when sadness becomes so apparent every time I hark back to you. God may have other plans for us. Whatever it is, I let him be. For I know God is fair and just. I cannot question his will.

In my prayer, I always tell him to keep an eye on you, bless you with sound health, good life and bright future, to guide and protect you from those who intend to hurt you, and may you find joy in the arms of the one you choose to love.  I pray that she won’t break your heart and make you cry. Because I know you. To endure such gravity of pain is far from your might.

For all that has been said and done, I want you to understand that I was never angry, infuriated or upset.. just completely hurt. You must realize that it’s normal for me to feel that way. I am a human being and I got feelings. Through it all I never wished you ill, because I cherish you. You may not believe it, but I do.

If one day you catch a glimpse of me in an unforeseen time and place, don’t be anxious to turn up and say hello. Don’t be shy to smile. I am never the distant kind. Feel free to approach me, and I will tell you I am doing all right. I will offer a casual handshake, pay back a smile and let you know that I’m pleased to see you again. But I won’t hang around and stay long. So please don’t feel sorry if I leave and walk away, because I know if I stay one more minute, I won’t have the strength to let you go again.

My love, Wherever you are, I hope you will think of the good times that we shared together. Even just for a while. Even for one last time.

Goodnight.

I miss you.

-Hannah-

Hi Arnold’s =)

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Here I go again, blogging about food. As I love eating and I only have limited time to share my food encounters (kasi naman neng weekends lang ang cheat day ko! balato this to me nalang!), I can’t think of anything else to share aside from this… hayy parang i always want to broadcast to everyone what I had for lunch, dinner, etc etc. Mang inggit ba??!!!

Last week my church mates and I made a pact that every after worship service, we will explore the best foods in town! Since I am a monster chicken lover, My good friend Ara mentioned about the best Spring chicken in Singapore…. ARNOLD’S chicken. I’ve heard alot of good remarks about this famous chicken. And I remember I always ask my college friend whenever we hang out in her pad to make padeliver Arnolds. And I swear, I can knock down 1 whole chicken in one sitting!

So after church, we headed our way to Paya Lebar at City square mall… and Neng! dko kinaya the long pila! we waited for 2 hours imagine that! Kineri ko yan noh sa ngalan ng MANOK!! ang tinde!!! was very hungry!!! pang 286 kami HOMAYGUDNESS! May pulso pa naman ako at humihinga pa!

While waiting for our number to be called, Kodakan muna kami…

 This is Ara (seated) And JL Cruz (John Lord Cruz! Pak!) Ara managed to find a seat while we were waiting, then I took their picture and I realized, gutom jones na itech! Look at her face, NO reaction! Kaloka! Ang plain mo neng show ur teeth naman! Si JL naman, taray ng hair… Bangs ang labanan! Kabog-able!

 Its my turn! Tannann! projectness!!! Saan ba dapat tumingin? Sorry naman confused ang lola nyo! daming Camera! chos!

 Almost two hours of waiting and standing… Ara’s face never change! NR Parin kaloka! Mare, this is how u should project. Look at the camera… 1, 2, 3,  then SMILE! Ganyan neng! para ka naman pinagtampuhan ng kapalaran! hahaha di kita kinaya!

Finally, we got our table… and we all ordered 1/2 Arnold’s Spring Chicken w/ coleslaw and fries… OUR TWO HOURS of waiting was all worth it!

 MOUTHWATERING! The servings are huge for one person… and dahil hungry much na kami, we made upak the chicken like the end of the world is coming! Super yummmy!!! Goodbye Max’s!!! This Spring Chicken is truly TO-DIE-FOR!!!! Love ko na sha talaga!!

Not only that, they serve the best banana split in the whole wide world, trulyness, hindi namin pinalampas! TANAAAAN!!!

 me and my banana split! yumminess!!!

 Simut charap!!! Pati spoon macharap!!!

 Presentation palang kabog-able na! Panalo the Whip cream!

 I want more!! Sama ng tingin ko sa banana split ni Ara! Lagot ka!

 Pang commercial!!! Pwede!!! Konting project pa JL.. Konti pa..

 

Spring chix plus ice cream Happiness!!! Anu ba Ara? Masaya ka ba? NR Parin! KALOKA!!!

 Buti pa si John Lord! Taray!!! Sige na ikaw na, ikaw na endorser!! bet na bet! Hindi ako maka move on sa BANGS mo! chos!

Hayyyy!!!! Had so much fun with you guys. Next time, padeliver nalang tayo so we won’t get pulikat waiting for 2hours just to get a table!! The longest time I waited in a restaurant just for MANOK!! oo na ako na, ako na patay-gutom!

And I went home very happy. Cravings fulfilled! Those of you who live in Singapore, if you haven’t heared about Arnold’s, try it!!! Two thumbs up and Big Burp that’s all I can say!! Super Value for money and very delicious!! First time I appreciated Spring chicken this good!

On our way home, nagbaka sakali parin ako Ara would show a happy face… kasi naman when ur busog you feel different na dabah! energized dapat and jolly… But my friend Ara… tsk tsk!!!! Neng, mahipan ka ng ipo-ipo jan baka hndi magbago fez mo! Magreact ka naman kaloka!!!! Masasabi ko lang… CONGRATULATIONS!!! Kinabog mo si Mona Lisa!!! hahaha! Love u!!!

Thank you God for this day. The pain of waiting for 2 hours have tested our patience. We learned to appreciate and value the food that we eat. Thank you for the blessings dear father. Amen. =)

THE CAST:

 Arabel Punongbayan – Teka bakit dito kung maka project ka para kang nagpapastudio! hahahaha!!! di kita kinaya neng! Brown shades ang labanan!!! Tarrraay!!! lavet!

 John Lord Cruz – Ang lufeeeet!!!! Kinarir ang Iphone! With matching epeks pa!!! Lokang loka ako sayo!!! Its the BANGS man, Its the BANGS! Hindi ako papakabog sayo… hmp!

 and Hannah Vargas – OHAAAA!!! PAK na PAK!!! Poproject din lang tinodo ko na!!! hahaha!! No shades, no bangs… chos!

-THE END-

Till next entry my avid readers!

-Hannah-